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Walking outside with him makes crying feel less overwhelming. It also stops him sometimes as the brightness increases and there are different sounds that catch his attention.
Seem to be able to stop most crying by dad (me) sitting on his big exercise ball and bouncing once all other options have been exhausted, find it uses a lot less energy than standing, rocking or walking and he seems to prefer it.
To deal with my baby crying; I accept that I have to settle him and that it might take a long time. I make it enjoyable by using that time to connect with my baby. I stare at him and use it as a form of meditation.
I hum deeply a few different tunes and bum pat him and sway with him and walk. As he starts to doze off, I will slow up the speed of swaying, patting and humming.
Always remember crying is the only way of communication the baby knows at this stage.
They are always crying for a reason, and we just have to methodically go through a checklist over and over until the baby is happy and settled.
To deal with my baby crying; I accept that I have to settle him and that it might take a long time. I make it enjoyable by using that time to connect with my baby. I stare at him and use it as a form of meditation.
I hum deeply a few different tunes and bum pat him and sway with him and walk. As he starts to doze off, I will slow up the speed of swaying, patting and humming
Realising that sometimes there is little one can do to stop crying (in particular for a few hours on the evening) and understanding that is ok. My partner and I are supporting each other well during these periods.
My wife and I try and not go more than an hour with a screaming baby. Having an end goal makes it more bearable. Knowing that if I just get through to the hour, I can get a break.
Be in a good frame of mind if you can… Just remember that as a dad this is a big help for your wife / partner as it gives her a break. So even though it’s hard, it’s worth the cause for this and also it is a form of bonding.
When he cries really loud and I feel that wave of stress that must be innate, I take a breath and tell myself he is OK and I’m only feeling so stressed when I hear him like that because I am programmed to as his father.
My partner and I are very clear about who does what and in what order. I’ll pick him up and unwrap him. She will get ready to breast feed. I’ll give him to her and I’ll make sure that the changing area is ready to go. And make sure bottles are ready if we need to top up his feed.
We stay calm, and he stays calm. I’ll usually change him and top up his feed. Then we take it in turns to settle him back to sleep.
I found that the crying could get to me easily if I didn’t learn to control how I respond to it.
Sometimes I’ll deliberately focus on Bubs wailing cries and remind myself in my own mind that it will stop soon enough, and that Bubs is safe and well.
I coped with my boy crying by holding him in my arms and softly soothing him. I tell myself to just focus on relaxing and breathing because I know that he will feel this calming force and it will help soothe him too..
FIND OUT WHAT DADS & HEALTH PROFESSIONALS SAY ABOUT
Richard’s research revealed possible long-term negative impacts on the children of dads with mental health issues. Fathers’ depressive symptoms in the first year after the birth predicted behaviour problems in their children years later.
“If dads’ mental health has such a dramatic impact then we need to be screening dads for depression, not just mums,” Richard explains.
In response to these limitations, Richard and his team have designed a smart-phone based program that allows mobile connection for new and expectant dads.
Participants receive texts containing information and links, and self-report their mood. If the mood tracker identifies dads as needing extra support, they will be offered a phone call from a counsellor trained in this area.
Following the success of the pilot of the SMS4dads program, Funding was received to enable a National roll-out.
“When dad’s miss antenatal classes or activities, they also miss out on contact and links to other people. They may never get the chance to say to anyone, look I’m really stressed,” he points out.
“SMS4dads is a way of bringing dads into the health system and keeping them linked in with services and support,” explains Richard.
Richard credits a varied career, a talented and innovative team, and much life experience for affording him the insight needed to address the challenges related to actively engaging dads.
After completing his masters in Medical Science, studying epidemiology, Richard earned his PhD focusing on fathers and attachment.
“Fathers are invisible in many places, and that is endemic. Not because people dislike fathers, but because the system is set up to be focused on mothers.”
Some services and organisations are aware of the need to engage dads, but have been unsuccessful in their attempts.
“When people are challenged about this, they generally want dads involved,” Richard affirms.
“Often, however, they just don’t know how to do it.”
Richard works with health professionals on issues related to fathers, and has delivered many antenatal programs for expectant dads.
He credits his own family with giving him an understanding of the role of fathers needed to make his work relevant.
“I have three daughters and two stepdaughters,”
“My kids would say they taught me just about everything I know and they’d be right. They’ve taught me a lot, and still do.”
Richard’s research revealed possible long-term negative impacts on the children of dads with mental health issues. Fathers’ depressive symptoms in the first year after the birth predicted behaviour problems in their children years later.
“If dads’ mental health has such a dramatic impact then we need to be screening dads for depression, not just mums,” Richard explains.
In response to these limitations, Richard and his team have designed a smart-phone based program that allows mobile connection for new and expectant dads.
Participants receive texts containing information and links, and self-report their mood. If the mood tracker identifies dads as needing extra support, they will be offered a phone call from a counsellor trained in this area.
Following the success of the pilot of the SMS4dads program, Funding was received to enable a National roll-out.
“When dad’s miss antenatal classes or activities, they also miss out on contact and links to other people. They may never get the chance to say to anyone, look I’m really stressed,” he points out.
“SMS4dads is a way of bringing dads into the health system and keeping them linked in with services and support,” explains Richard.