Planning for another baby

Pregnancy can be challenging for many parents. This can be magnified for mothers and fathers who have experienced the previous loss of a baby. 
Following are some things you can do and support services you may like to access if you are planning or expecting another baby
  • Continue to make a conscious effort to look after yourself and your partner both physically and emotionally
  • Develop a good relationship with your maternity health care professionals and talk to them about your concerns. They may be able to organise additional visits and/or more frequent scans to help you manage anxieties about the pregnancy
  • The sense of anticipation about the baby may be darkened by anxiety and fear about things that could go wrong. There are support options to help you manage feelings like these. Red Nose has specific groups for those who are going through a Pregnancy After Loss. 

 

  • Contact peersupport@rednose.org.au to join either the online support group or Facebook group. Telephone support is also available by phoning 1300 308 307.
  • Some mums and dads report that they don’t feel as emotionally invested in a subsequent pregnancy. This is thought to be a defence mechanism designed to protect us from the possibility of grief associated with another loss.

 

  • Family and friends may be delighted and offer their love and support. Some of them may not fully understand that you are experiencing mixed emotions. A Red Nose parent supporter or professional counsellor may be able to offer suggestions about ways to manage these conversations.

 

  • A full-term pregnancy can seem like a lifetime. It can help to set small milestones to focus on. They don’t have to be about the pregnancy. Spend time with family and friends, keep your mind and body busy, and do things that you enjoy.
Help for Couples Around Grief & Loss - getting help
Help for Couples Around Grief & Loss - getting help
Help for Couples Around Grief & Loss - getting help
Help for Couples Around Grief & Loss - getting help

THIS INFORMATION WAS PREPARED FOR SMS4DADS BY RED NOSE

Richard’s research revealed possible long-term negative impacts on the children of dads with mental health issues. Fathers’ depressive symptoms in the first year after the birth predicted behaviour problems in their children years later.

“If dads’ mental health has such a dramatic impact then we need to be screening dads for depression, not just mums,” Richard explains.

In response to these limitations, Richard and his team have designed a smart-phone based program that allows mobile connection for new and expectant dads.

Participants receive texts containing information and links, and self-report their mood. If the mood tracker identifies dads as needing extra support, they will be offered a phone call from a counsellor trained in this area.

Following the success of the pilot of the SMS4dads program, Funding was received to enable a National roll-out.

“When dad’s miss antenatal classes or activities, they also miss out on contact and links to other people.  They may never get the chance to say to anyone, look I’m really stressed,” he points out.

“SMS4dads is a way of bringing dads into the health system and keeping them linked in with services and support,” explains Richard.

SMS4dads

Richard Fletcher

Associate Professor, PhD

Richard credits a varied career, a talented and innovative team, and much life experience for affording him the insight needed to address the challenges related to actively engaging dads.

After completing his masters in Medical Science, studying epidemiology, Richard earned his PhD focusing on fathers and attachment.

“Fathers are invisible in many places, and that is endemic. Not because people dislike fathers, but because the system is set up to be focused on mothers.”

Some services and organisations are aware of the need to engage dads, but have been unsuccessful in their attempts.

“When people are challenged about this, they generally want dads involved,” Richard affirms.

“Often, however, they just don’t know how to do it.”

Richard works with health professionals on issues related to fathers, and has delivered many antenatal programs for expectant dads.

He credits his own family with giving him an understanding of the role of fathers needed to make his work relevant.

“I have three daughters and two stepdaughters,”

“My kids would say they taught me just about everything I know and they’d be right. They’ve taught me a lot, and still do.”

Richard’s research revealed possible long-term negative impacts on the children of dads with mental health issues. Fathers’ depressive symptoms in the first year after the birth predicted behaviour problems in their children years later.

“If dads’ mental health has such a dramatic impact then we need to be screening dads for depression, not just mums,” Richard explains.

In response to these limitations, Richard and his team have designed a smart-phone based program that allows mobile connection for new and expectant dads.

Participants receive texts containing information and links, and self-report their mood. If the mood tracker identifies dads as needing extra support, they will be offered a phone call from a counsellor trained in this area.

Following the success of the pilot of the SMS4dads program, Funding was received to enable a National roll-out.

“When dad’s miss antenatal classes or activities, they also miss out on contact and links to other people.  They may never get the chance to say to anyone, look I’m really stressed,” he points out.

“SMS4dads is a way of bringing dads into the health system and keeping them linked in with services and support,” explains Richard.