Birth Trauma Awareness -

Recognising Fathers in the Story

Every journey through birth is different

Some feel empowered, others are overwhelmed or left reeling. Many experience a mix of both. As we mark Birth Trauma Awareness Week 2025, we spotlight a truth that’s often left unsaid: birth can be physically and emotionally traumatic – not only for mothers, but for fathers too.

 

Birth trauma impacts BOTH PARENTS – yet fathers are often left out of the conversation.
You can contribute to Birth Trauma Awareness Week: This Is Birth by sharing your Three Words – from a dads’ perspective.

 

SHARE YOUR STORY

 

 

Including Fathers = Better Outcomes

 

Each year, thousands of men witness their partner endure a traumatic birth or go through pregnancy loss and stillbirth. Often in silence, they hold their grief quietly, shouldering practical and emotional burdens while navigating major surgery suites, neonatal intensive care units, or devastating goodbyes.

 

SMS4dads, pioneers in father-inclusive research and support, are calling on Australia to see the whole picture, one that includes dads’ stories, their pain, and their resilience.

 

Research shows that when dads are supported:
  • Maternal mental health improves
  • Children’s development strengthens
  • Families become more resilient

 

Birth Trauma Awareness -

Why Both Stories Matter

 “When we truly recognise and support fathers as integral to their family’s wellbeing – not just as bystanders, but as partners and nurturers – the cascading effect is profound. Bringing dads into the picture and providing father-inclusive support doesn’t just help men; it strengthens relationships, boosts children’s development, and doubles the resources available to every baby. It’s time our services, our policies, and our attitudes reflected the simple truth: healthy, confident dads create better outcomes for everyone in the family.”

Richard Fletcher, SMS4dads

 

Dads grieve. Dads worry. Dads break down and need to be held too.

 

Trauma-informed care must include fathers – not only out of fairness, but because engaged, supported dads drive better health outcomes for mothers, babies, and families.

 

Trauma during birth doesn’t discriminate. Research shows a significant proportion of Australian births involve physical or psychological trauma, with estimates suggesting up to one in three parents experience some form of birth trauma.

 

Just as importantly, the rate of elective and emergency caesareans has risen sharply in recent years. Almost 36% of all births in Australia now occur via caesarean section, placing fathers beside their partners in the operating theatre – witnessing major surgery, often for the first time – and instantly thrusting them into the role of first responder in newborn care.

 

“Being asked to be present during major surgery is a big event for any dad, let alone welcoming a new baby at the same time,” says Dr Kim Rackemann, paediatric anaesthetist. “Dads are often overlooked in that moment, but they’re going through their own intense experience.”

Birth Trauma Awareness -
Birth Trauma Awareness -

Expanding the circle of care

“Dads tell us they often feel overlooked in the event of birth trauma. At SMS4dads, we know that when it comes to perinatal mental health and birth trauma, dads are often the invisible partner – but their experiences are just as real and important. Asking dads how they’re going, and truly listening to their answers, is a vital first step. We need to recognise that fathers have their own unique needs, stressors, and ways of accessing support – and sometimes those don’t fit the traditional pathways. By creating space and resources specifically for dads, we’re not just supporting fathers, but strengthening families and giving children the best possible start.”

Louie Hahn, SMS4dads

 

Traumatic birth is not only a women’s issue. It is a family trauma. And too often, that story starts in an operating theatre. With elective caesarean rates rising in Australia, more fathers find themselves in sterile, high-stakes surgical environments with no time to mentally prepare. They go from support person to first responder – sometimes within minutes.

 

 “The sheer number of people in the room and the looks on their faces scared me… I was panicking because it all came out of nowhere,” one father recounted following an emergency caesarean.

 

Partners are often handed a swaddled newborn while their loved one is being stitched up. Medical staff rush to stabilise mothers and babies, while fathers are left standing in the corner, trying to make sense of it all. Some faint, others freeze or mask their anxiety. As Dr Kim Rackemann, Paediatric Anaesthetist, explains:

 

“We ask dads to be present for major surgery, but we don’t prepare them. Dads definitely have a role – to be there for the baby, and for their partner – but often get overlooked.”

 

 

Birth Trauma Awareness -
Birth Trauma Awareness -

Trauma By Association: The Emotional Toll

Fathers who experience or witness traumatic births suffer high rates of depression, anxiety, intrusive thoughts and even suicidal ideation. Yet men overwhelmingly report feeling invisible to hospitals and services. Though national guidelines have begun to acknowledge fathers, few have delivered resources specifically for them. The tragic reality: awareness has galloped ahead of action.

 

This invisibility leads to isolation:

 

“I didn’t have any friends or relatives who had gone through something similar… I felt alone.”

“I found it really hard to go home and leave my wife and son in the hospital. Just being told it was okay to rest meant a lot.”

 

 

Fathers Speak: What Helped, What Hurt

 

The voices of dads throughout Australia reveal what makes a difference:

 

BEING INCLUDED: “Some nurses were happy to have a dad doing charting and baby care. That reassurance helped me connect and be confident.”

 

BEING ACKNOWLEDGED: “I was so scared I’d hurt her. I just wish staff had guided me more and encouraged early bonding.”

 

PEER CONNECTION: “Our doctor started a small dads’ group – off his own back. That group changed everything for me.”

 

SIMPLE GESTURES: “Some days, a simple smile and empathy meant a lot.”

 

 

But their experiences also highlight what’s lacking:

 

“In terms of emotional support, there wasn’t much for dads. It made me feel like I wasn’t important.”

 

“The nurse greeted me with: ‘Where’s Mum?’ Dad was there. I could do cares too.”

 

Birth Trauma Awareness -
Birth Trauma Awareness -

Ensuring inclusive support: The Role of Health Professionals

 

Health professionals can lead the shift toward trauma-informed, father-inclusive care, simply by making space.

 

Dr Malcolm Godfrey, Obstetrician and Gynaecologist, notes:

“When things go wrong, some dads shut down. But if you actively engage them to ask questions, you help them process what’s happening. It stops them defaulting to silent support only.”

 

Dr Stephen Knipe, Paediatrician, echoes the need for greater scaffolding:

“When my wife had a traumatic birth, I was asked to resuscitate my own child. No one provided support for me. Resources like SMS4dads would’ve made a real difference.”

 

Clinical Psychologist Rickie Elliot sees this gap daily:

“A lot of dads feel helpless when their partner struggles. They aren’t sure how to have the conversation. SMS4dads gives them knowledge, encourages reflection, and starts important conversations – at home.”

 

 

SMS4dads: Reaching Fathers, One Message at a Time

 

SMS4dads is filling the silence. By delivering free, non-invasive reminders about baby development, relationship wellbeing, and self-care directly to dads’ phones, it fosters a sense of agency, inclusion, and connection.

 

 “It helps dads feel seen. For many, it’s the first message that says: you matter too,” says Dr Elliot. 

 

It also offers clinical tools – such as the Mood Checker – that can help identify dads in need of extra support before it reaches crisis point.

 

Birth Trauma Awareness -
Birth Trauma Awareness -

What dads say to other dads…

 

In the words of Australian fathers who’ve walked the path:

 

“It’s a rollercoaster. Be prepared for the highs and the lows.”
 
 “At times I felt helpless. I wish I’d known how to be more involved.”
 
 “Talk to your partner about how you’re both feeling – be honest.”
 
 “Having a network of people who’ve experienced similar things would have helped.”
 
“Know that what you’re feeling is normal. And know where to get help.”
 

 

Birth Trauma Awareness -
Birth Trauma Awareness -

The Ripple Effect: Impact on Families

When dads suffer trauma and stress in silence, the ripple effect reaches their partner, their baby, and the broader family.

 

“Fifty percent of partners whose wife or partner experiences postnatal anxiety or depression will experience it themselves,” explains Clinical Psychologist Rickie Elliot.

Conversely, dads who receive timely support – whether that’s mental health services, peer groups, or simple inclusion in care – are empowered to support their partners better, catch warning signs early, and nurture stronger relationships with their children.

“If the partners are emotionally supportive of each other, it’s a hugely protective factor for both of them…”

This preventative effect strengthens families and improves outcomes over the entire first 2000 days of a child’s life.

 

More Than an Afterthought – dads are essential to family wellbeing

 

Father-specific support is not just nicety or political correctness. It is evidence-based, practical, and deeply necessary. Supported, confident dads are vital – not peripheral – to family resilience, child development, and maternal wellbeing.

 

As one dad said simply: “When you include BOTH parents, you double the resources available to the baby!”

 

Following this Birth Trauma Awareness Week, let’s mobilise for action in the Australian maternity and newborn care system to recognise and better understand dads’ trauma and needs as a core part of inclusive support – for their sake, and for the health of every Australian family.

 

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

 

Dads – make sure you are included in this picture. Your voice matters, your experience counts, and your story helps shape the future of birth awareness for BOTH mums and dads. Participate in Birth Trauma Awareness Week – share your three words, your art, your journey. Because this is birth, and your story matters too.

 

Health Professionals – share your stories about the dads in the room who also experience and are frontline participants in traumatic births. How can we actively include dads as allies in birthing suites and beyond and provide them with targeted support.

 

SHARE YOUR THREE WORDS

To learn more reach out to us at SMS4dads: info@sms4dads.com.au

Richard’s research revealed possible long-term negative impacts on the children of dads with mental health issues. Fathers’ depressive symptoms in the first year after the birth predicted behaviour problems in their children years later.

“If dads’ mental health has such a dramatic impact then we need to be screening dads for depression, not just mums,” Richard explains.

In response to these limitations, Richard and his team have designed a smart-phone based program that allows mobile connection for new and expectant dads.

Participants receive texts containing information and links, and self-report their mood. If the mood tracker identifies dads as needing extra support, they will be offered a phone call from a counsellor trained in this area.

Following the success of the pilot of the SMS4dads program, Funding was received to enable a National roll-out.

“When dad’s miss antenatal classes or activities, they also miss out on contact and links to other people.  They may never get the chance to say to anyone, look I’m really stressed,” he points out.

“SMS4dads is a way of bringing dads into the health system and keeping them linked in with services and support,” explains Richard.

SMS4dads

Richard Fletcher

Associate Professor, PhD

Richard credits a varied career, a talented and innovative team, and much life experience for affording him the insight needed to address the challenges related to actively engaging dads.

After completing his masters in Medical Science, studying epidemiology, Richard earned his PhD focusing on fathers and attachment.

“Fathers are invisible in many places, and that is endemic. Not because people dislike fathers, but because the system is set up to be focused on mothers.”

Some services and organisations are aware of the need to engage dads, but have been unsuccessful in their attempts.

“When people are challenged about this, they generally want dads involved,” Richard affirms.

“Often, however, they just don’t know how to do it.”

Richard works with health professionals on issues related to fathers, and has delivered many antenatal programs for expectant dads.

He credits his own family with giving him an understanding of the role of fathers needed to make his work relevant.

“I have three daughters and two stepdaughters,”

“My kids would say they taught me just about everything I know and they’d be right. They’ve taught me a lot, and still do.”

Richard’s research revealed possible long-term negative impacts on the children of dads with mental health issues. Fathers’ depressive symptoms in the first year after the birth predicted behaviour problems in their children years later.

“If dads’ mental health has such a dramatic impact then we need to be screening dads for depression, not just mums,” Richard explains.

In response to these limitations, Richard and his team have designed a smart-phone based program that allows mobile connection for new and expectant dads.

Participants receive texts containing information and links, and self-report their mood. If the mood tracker identifies dads as needing extra support, they will be offered a phone call from a counsellor trained in this area.

Following the success of the pilot of the SMS4dads program, Funding was received to enable a National roll-out.

“When dad’s miss antenatal classes or activities, they also miss out on contact and links to other people.  They may never get the chance to say to anyone, look I’m really stressed,” he points out.

“SMS4dads is a way of bringing dads into the health system and keeping them linked in with services and support,” explains Richard.