SMS4DADS WHO ARE GRIEVING

Advice, tips & info for dads 

 

Text messages that speak to dads who have experienced the loss of a baby 

SMS4dads partnered with Red Nose to create a Grief & Loss message set to provide vital bereavement support to grieving fathers – to help them navigate their first few months following their loss.  You can see more about how the message set was developed here

We asked dads and mums with a lived experience of pregnancy or infant loss about what would have helped them.  The messages have been created based on advice from parents who have experienced their own loss. 

 

SMS4dads Who Are Grieving - bonding

 

GRIEF & LOSS MESSAGES

SMS4dads in partnership with Red Nose. Text messages that speak to dads who experience the loss of a baby.

 

WHAT ARE THE MESSAGES ABOUT?

The Grief and Loss messages focus on:

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Partner Support

Making plans for things to look forward to can help you cope as a couple. You might want to start with something small, like a movie, a meal or a walk.
SMS4dads Who Are Grieving - bonding

Self-care

Many dads overlook their own needs while doing what they can for mum. She won’t get the best of you when you don’t get the support you need.
SMS4dads Who Are Grieving - bonding

Grief

Many dads experience intense grief when a baby dies. While attention is usually focused on mum, there is help just for dads.

HOW DADS ENROL

Advice, tips & info for dads

SMS4dads is FREE and dads from anywhere in Australia can participate. 

Dads can enrol specifically for the grief and loss messages via RedNose

To register for any other SMS4dads and SMS4DeadlyDads message sets – from 12 weeks into a pregnancy – you can join up here.

Frequency of texts

Grief & Loss messages are sent over a 15-week period. More messages will be sent in the first few weeks when dads are trying to come to terms with what has happened. Over time the messages will decrease in frequency down to 2 per week.

Messages will be sent at the same time each day so that dads can recognise who the text is from and read it at a time that is right for them.

Dads can reply to any message to give feedback or to opt out.

NOTE 

SMS4dads refers to dads as, he/him/his in current text message sets. This is a deliberate strategy to talk directly to fathers. It is known that fathers often think that information with less gendered language, such as parent, is not directed at them. We understand that families (and dads) come in all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, genders, and non-binary representations and that some family members may prefer different wording. SMS4dads does not require any gender-related disclosure, and we hope those who enrol find the information useful. 

SMS4dads Who Are Grieving - bonding
SMS4dads Who Are Grieving - bonding

 

WHAT WOULD HAVE HELPED?

Here’s what dads say would have helped them following the loss of their baby 

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Any support at all. It's all focused on the partner, which is understandable, but some form of targeted support for fathers would be useful

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Talking to someone who has been through it

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Help with navigating own grief, grief of wife and support for her

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How to help my partner/mother of our child with the loss

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How to manage and support the family and your partner during this terrible period

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Something that I could have passed onto my and my wife's work

IN COLLABORATION

SMS4dads has worked in close collaboration with Red Nose to develop the Grief & Loss messages for dads who experience the devastating loss of a baby 

Our teams have similar missions to support dads and their families, based on robust evidence and up to date information. 

Red Nose helped improve our understanding of dads’ experiences following a loss. 

The messages were created using feedback from both clinicians and parents with lived experience. 

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Red Nose Red Nose is Australia’s leading authority on safe sleep and safer pregnancy advice, and provides bereavement support to anyone affected by miscarriage, stillbirth, or the death of a baby or child.  Red Nose values the role SMS4dads Grief & Loss messages play in providing support and information to bereaved dads to help them on their grief journey.  
SMS4dads Who Are Grieving - bonding
RED NOSE | Keren Ludski
CEO

Richard’s research revealed possible long-term negative impacts on the children of dads with mental health issues. Fathers’ depressive symptoms in the first year after the birth predicted behaviour problems in their children years later.

“If dads’ mental health has such a dramatic impact then we need to be screening dads for depression, not just mums,” Richard explains.

In response to these limitations, Richard and his team have designed a smart-phone based program that allows mobile connection for new and expectant dads.

Participants receive texts containing information and links, and self-report their mood. If the mood tracker identifies dads as needing extra support, they will be offered a phone call from a counsellor trained in this area.

Following the success of the pilot of the SMS4dads program, Funding was received to enable a National roll-out.

“When dad’s miss antenatal classes or activities, they also miss out on contact and links to other people.  They may never get the chance to say to anyone, look I’m really stressed,” he points out.

“SMS4dads is a way of bringing dads into the health system and keeping them linked in with services and support,” explains Richard.

SMS4dads

Richard Fletcher

Associate Professor, PhD

Richard credits a varied career, a talented and innovative team, and much life experience for affording him the insight needed to address the challenges related to actively engaging dads.

After completing his masters in Medical Science, studying epidemiology, Richard earned his PhD focusing on fathers and attachment.

“Fathers are invisible in many places, and that is endemic. Not because people dislike fathers, but because the system is set up to be focused on mothers.”

Some services and organisations are aware of the need to engage dads, but have been unsuccessful in their attempts.

“When people are challenged about this, they generally want dads involved,” Richard affirms.

“Often, however, they just don’t know how to do it.”

Richard works with health professionals on issues related to fathers, and has delivered many antenatal programs for expectant dads.

He credits his own family with giving him an understanding of the role of fathers needed to make his work relevant.

“I have three daughters and two stepdaughters,”

“My kids would say they taught me just about everything I know and they’d be right. They’ve taught me a lot, and still do.”

Richard’s research revealed possible long-term negative impacts on the children of dads with mental health issues. Fathers’ depressive symptoms in the first year after the birth predicted behaviour problems in their children years later.

“If dads’ mental health has such a dramatic impact then we need to be screening dads for depression, not just mums,” Richard explains.

In response to these limitations, Richard and his team have designed a smart-phone based program that allows mobile connection for new and expectant dads.

Participants receive texts containing information and links, and self-report their mood. If the mood tracker identifies dads as needing extra support, they will be offered a phone call from a counsellor trained in this area.

Following the success of the pilot of the SMS4dads program, Funding was received to enable a National roll-out.

“When dad’s miss antenatal classes or activities, they also miss out on contact and links to other people.  They may never get the chance to say to anyone, look I’m really stressed,” he points out.

“SMS4dads is a way of bringing dads into the health system and keeping them linked in with services and support,” explains Richard.