We asked dads about what they wished they’d known when their baby was in the NICU
We asked dads about what would have helped them be more involved and to feel more confident and included while their baby was in the NICU
We asked dads what helped or would have helped them to cope with the situation.
“What helped me was my family. But even then I needed clinical help about four months after we left hospital. By this time my son and wife were doing pretty well – but I wasn’t – and hadn’t from the start.
This wasn’t picked up at any point in our journey, but thankfully my wife’s PND (post-natal depression) was and we were able to get her help from the hospital and PANDA.”
“I didn’t have any friends or relatives who had experienced having a premature baby so I felt very much alone.
Having access to a community of parents who had experienced a similar journey would have been helpful.”
“I found it difficult to go home and leave my wife and baby in hospital.
Someone telling me it’s ok to go home and rest actually meant a lot as I didn’t feel like I was letting people down by not being there.”
“What helped was the fabulous nurses (some of which we are friends with to this day) and doctors who lent an ear, and even a hug when needed.
The other thing was chatting to other parents, and just having people able to relate to what we were going through, people in the trenches with us. Made a huge difference.”
“Our doctor formed a small dads group to get together once a week. He did this off his own back and received no help financially from the government.
It would be nice if the government could fund a proper support program for dads because being able to go to that group to get things off my chest and actually ask the doctor questions outside of the NICU and away from mum for stress reasons was absolutely wonderful for me.
It’s not only trying to deal with having a pre-term birth it’s also trying to hold your partner up and support her in all her emotions, on top of having to go back to work and travelling etc.”
Below are some links to support for dads with a baby or babies in the NICU or SCN
Glossary of NICU Medical Terms
Dads of the NICU PODCAST Series
Dads & Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia – PANDA
Miracle Babies Foundation – Just for Dads
Life’s Little Treasures Foundation – Info for Dads
Richard’s research revealed possible long-term negative impacts on the children of dads with mental health issues. Fathers’ depressive symptoms in the first year after the birth predicted behaviour problems in their children years later.
“If dads’ mental health has such a dramatic impact then we need to be screening dads for depression, not just mums,” Richard explains.
In response to these limitations, Richard and his team have designed a smart-phone based program that allows mobile connection for new and expectant dads.
Participants receive texts containing information and links, and self-report their mood. If the mood tracker identifies dads as needing extra support, they will be offered a phone call from a counsellor trained in this area.
Following the success of the pilot of the SMS4dads program, Funding was received to enable a National roll-out.
“When dad’s miss antenatal classes or activities, they also miss out on contact and links to other people. They may never get the chance to say to anyone, look I’m really stressed,” he points out.
“SMS4dads is a way of bringing dads into the health system and keeping them linked in with services and support,” explains Richard.
Richard credits a varied career, a talented and innovative team, and much life experience for affording him the insight needed to address the challenges related to actively engaging dads.
After completing his masters in Medical Science, studying epidemiology, Richard earned his PhD focusing on fathers and attachment.
“Fathers are invisible in many places, and that is endemic. Not because people dislike fathers, but because the system is set up to be focused on mothers.”
Some services and organisations are aware of the need to engage dads, but have been unsuccessful in their attempts.
“When people are challenged about this, they generally want dads involved,” Richard affirms.
“Often, however, they just don’t know how to do it.”
Richard works with health professionals on issues related to fathers, and has delivered many antenatal programs for expectant dads.
He credits his own family with giving him an understanding of the role of fathers needed to make his work relevant.
“I have three daughters and two stepdaughters,”
“My kids would say they taught me just about everything I know and they’d be right. They’ve taught me a lot, and still do.”
Richard’s research revealed possible long-term negative impacts on the children of dads with mental health issues. Fathers’ depressive symptoms in the first year after the birth predicted behaviour problems in their children years later.
“If dads’ mental health has such a dramatic impact then we need to be screening dads for depression, not just mums,” Richard explains.
In response to these limitations, Richard and his team have designed a smart-phone based program that allows mobile connection for new and expectant dads.
Participants receive texts containing information and links, and self-report their mood. If the mood tracker identifies dads as needing extra support, they will be offered a phone call from a counsellor trained in this area.
Following the success of the pilot of the SMS4dads program, Funding was received to enable a National roll-out.
“When dad’s miss antenatal classes or activities, they also miss out on contact and links to other people. They may never get the chance to say to anyone, look I’m really stressed,” he points out.
“SMS4dads is a way of bringing dads into the health system and keeping them linked in with services and support,” explains Richard.