Working as a team in NICU

What the reseach says

Working as a team while in the NICU is important – for you, your partner, and your baby/babies.

Parenting research has increasingly focused on the way that parents work together raising their children. There is no better example of this than the ways that mums and dads divide and share their parenting roles and responsibilities when they have a baby in the NICU.

 
Dads often end up doing a lot of the functional stuff like shopping and caring for older children so that Mum can spend more time with the newborn. This is a wonderful way that they show their support.

Reducing stress

Co-parenting can be much less stressful when dads and mums manage a few key issues well. These include; 

 

CO-ORDINATION OF ROLES & RESPONSIBILITIES and agree on who does what, where and when

 

SUPPORTING EACH OTHER with encouragement, companionship and doing things together

 

TRYING TO KEEP CALM during challenging times

Co-Parenting - bonding

4DadNICU: Plan the jobs that need doing with your partner. Sharing the workload fairly will help you both feel appreciated and valued

Co-Parenting - bonding

Emotional Support

Dads can tell their partner that she is a “doing a great job” as both a mum and a partner especially in a situation that neither of you were prepared for
Co-Parenting - bonding

Companionship

Dads can demonstrate this by prioritising the tasks that mum needs to do before their own.

For example, I was going to mow the lawns but I'd like to stay and help feed bub together
Co-Parenting - bonding

Functional support

Like organising things at home. However, it is important that these thing are discussed first. Well intended acts that are not negotiated sometimes don't go down well
Co-Parenting - bonding

Help seeking

Dads can talk with mum about whether they need to reach out to other people for help when things are not going as well as they had expected. You may like to check out GatherMyCrew.org.au

 

BRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER

Co-Parenting - bonding

Breastfeeding example

Here is an example of a conversation between mum and dad where all the above factors are present.


I can see how difficult this is for you and how hard you are working to get on top of things.(EMOTIONAL SUPPORT)

This is important for our family, and I want to do something to help. Would you like me to sit with you for a while. (COMPANIONSHIP)

Or is there something else that I can do? Like make you something to eat or get you a drink? (FUNCTIONAL SUPPORT)

I could try to find more information about feeding from a nurse? (HELP SEEKING)

I can see this is tough for you and you’re doing a great job and I want to help. (EMOTIONAL SUPPORT)
Co-Parenting - bonding

SOURCE: May, C & Fletcher, R (2019) Helping him to support her: Building trust and minimising distress through the facilitation of partner support across the transition to parenthood. IJBPE vol 7, issue 1

Richard’s research revealed possible long-term negative impacts on the children of dads with mental health issues. Fathers’ depressive symptoms in the first year after the birth predicted behaviour problems in their children years later.

“If dads’ mental health has such a dramatic impact then we need to be screening dads for depression, not just mums,” Richard explains.

In response to these limitations, Richard and his team have designed a smart-phone based program that allows mobile connection for new and expectant dads.

Participants receive texts containing information and links, and self-report their mood. If the mood tracker identifies dads as needing extra support, they will be offered a phone call from a counsellor trained in this area.

Following the success of the pilot of the SMS4dads program, Funding was received to enable a National roll-out.

“When dad’s miss antenatal classes or activities, they also miss out on contact and links to other people.  They may never get the chance to say to anyone, look I’m really stressed,” he points out.

“SMS4dads is a way of bringing dads into the health system and keeping them linked in with services and support,” explains Richard.

SMS4dads

Richard Fletcher

Associate Professor, PhD

Richard credits a varied career, a talented and innovative team, and much life experience for affording him the insight needed to address the challenges related to actively engaging dads.

After completing his masters in Medical Science, studying epidemiology, Richard earned his PhD focusing on fathers and attachment.

“Fathers are invisible in many places, and that is endemic. Not because people dislike fathers, but because the system is set up to be focused on mothers.”

Some services and organisations are aware of the need to engage dads, but have been unsuccessful in their attempts.

“When people are challenged about this, they generally want dads involved,” Richard affirms.

“Often, however, they just don’t know how to do it.”

Richard works with health professionals on issues related to fathers, and has delivered many antenatal programs for expectant dads.

He credits his own family with giving him an understanding of the role of fathers needed to make his work relevant.

“I have three daughters and two stepdaughters,”

“My kids would say they taught me just about everything I know and they’d be right. They’ve taught me a lot, and still do.”

Richard’s research revealed possible long-term negative impacts on the children of dads with mental health issues. Fathers’ depressive symptoms in the first year after the birth predicted behaviour problems in their children years later.

“If dads’ mental health has such a dramatic impact then we need to be screening dads for depression, not just mums,” Richard explains.

In response to these limitations, Richard and his team have designed a smart-phone based program that allows mobile connection for new and expectant dads.

Participants receive texts containing information and links, and self-report their mood. If the mood tracker identifies dads as needing extra support, they will be offered a phone call from a counsellor trained in this area.

Following the success of the pilot of the SMS4dads program, Funding was received to enable a National roll-out.

“When dad’s miss antenatal classes or activities, they also miss out on contact and links to other people.  They may never get the chance to say to anyone, look I’m really stressed,” he points out.

“SMS4dads is a way of bringing dads into the health system and keeping them linked in with services and support,” explains Richard.